Everyone stares as George doesn't think things are wonderful.

Looking for movies to watch at Christmas can be pretty overwhelming. Kind of like how singers and music people make cd’s with Christmas songs, it seems like actors from every country in the world have made a Christmas movie. Unfortunately, a certain movie rental place in Woodland Hills that rhymes with Vollywood Hideo barely doesn’t even carry any movies from other countries. I asked the man working there (I think he must be recovering from some addiction like drugs or insomnia because he looks way too old to be working there. He looks like somebody’s dad that they only see once or twice a year because they don’t like him very much or he swears a lot) what Christmas movies they had and he showed me a section that had the same movies that are always out. Some movies are classics and can be watched a bajillion times (The Santa Clause trilogies, Fred Clause, Monsters Inc.), but I wanted to find something I hadn’t ever seen before. I asked the man if his store had any Christmas films from Africa…Nope. The Atlantic? Nope. From any Japanese country? Nope. I felt horribly defeated, so I went home underhanded.

George tries to make friends by bragging.

When I got home, though, there was a movie that had just started, so I decided it was better than nothing. The movie was old and called A Wonderful Life. Not old as in ‘oh, being into vampires is so old’, but old as in ‘those elderly people are old.’ As I’ve said before, I think it’s hard for people nowadays to relate to movies that aren’t in color because it just looks like everyone is covered in soot. I curled up with my mom’s cat whose named I’ve changed to Shia LaMeowf, some air-popped popcorn and a glass of Pelegrino, and watched the movie all the way until it was over. The movie wasn’t great by today’s standards (no good music, bad CGI), but, back when it came out, I’m sure everyone considered it wonderful because it had sound.

George's bank gets robbed for the millionth time.

The plot of A Wonderful Life was hard to follow, but basically it tells the story of a man named George who tries to do a lot of things with his life and fails miserably because everyone takes advantage of him. He owns a bank that never has any money because it keeps “disappearing”, he gets married to a woman who makes him buy a house for her and all of her kids, people make fun of his ears by making donkey sounds at him every time they see him, then his uncle is robbed by a man in a wheelchair and the police are gonna arrest George because of it. Huh? This made no sense. ‘Oh, your uncle was mugged? Well, we’re gonna throw you in the slammer!’ Understandably upset, George gets drunk and decides to jump off a bridge. Eventually, he either does or does not kill himself and is punished by God who shows him how everyone’s life is going to change because he killed himself. Which is totally true because, after George dies, everybody’s lives turn to merde.

George and friends celebrate with a cup of cheer.

Because this movie was made back when there were censorships, the actors really had to be careful how they described things without actually describing them. For example, George’s mom, after George kills himself, has to “rent out his room to strangers” in order to make a living. They couldn’t come right out and say she was a brothel, but they danced around it enough, so kids wouldn’t go home and ask about sex. The person whose life really goes down hill after George kills himself, though, is his ex-wife. She goes into hiding by not wearing make-up and pretending to not know who her kids are. I thought it was actually pretty brave for the people in this movie to portray a deadbeat dad as a mom. Why do only the dads get to have a second chance at having fun? I think that portraying the wife as the one saying, ‘Screw ‘em, I’m gonna enjoy my life!’ and then ships her kids off was progressive for the time period. It not only showed that women were capable of dumping people who were burdens to them, but that they could be just as strong-willed as any man. Portrayals like this probably helped women to be able to vote because men got scared their wives might all leave the country.

"Sit, God! Sit! Good God.”

At the end of the movie, God brings George back to life (less of a zombie sort of way, but more like Jesus) and then puts a spell on everyone in the city to give George back all the money that they stole from his bank.

Wheelchair actor performs in his chair.

I know I was supposed to cheer for George, but he wasn’t the most interesting character. It was the wheelchair man, who was the mayor, who made me think about stuff the most. At first, I thought it was brave that they gave a wheelchair actor a role at all because he can’t do any action scenes or have a cool walk. But, this character was not likable at all: he didn’t dress nice, he had a chin like a bulldog and he stole from people. So, then I wondered if maybe this was a bad thing because people back then may not have ever seen a wheelchair person before and now they’d be afraid they would steal their money or have jowls or be really angry for no reason like my dad’s friend Paul.

George and God in their underwear. Not as sexy as I was hoping.

On the hole, I liked that the movie had a lot of messages, but there were too many and some of them were contradicted. On one hand, it tries to show how strong women can be without a man, but then it shows women as brothels. It punishes George for committing suicide, but then it shows God committing suicide to save George. George hates his stairs, but then they show him kissing the stairs, later. This was probably before scripts were invented, so actors just made stuff up, but the holes in the story were big enough to drive a truck to.

I give A Wonderful Life 3 out 5 winks.

PS – Have a great Christmas, Hanukkah and the black holiday!!

Thanks, Shia LaMeowf!

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