2013 Oscar Nominations For Movies
After spending all of their time making movies, celebrities need the chance to feel special. That’s why, every year, Hollywood actors and actresses give each other awards as a way to say, ‘Thanks for that movie you made and you’re still so pretty.’
Upcoming soon, the Oscar movie awards for this year (2013) will be celebrating movies that have made a lot of money. Each year, famous people that won the award the previous year bring them back and give them to all new famous people. I think it is a cool way to recycle stuff without having that recycling symbol on it because some people get dizzy if they look at that too long.
I like to pretend that the Oscar movie award is actually named Oscar and he is married to Emmy, the Oscar TV award. Together, Oscar and Emmy live in a different house each year. Every night, they sneak out of a famous person’s house, meet somewhere and kiss before having to go back. It’s kind of like Toy Story, but with statues and not Tim Allen.
Anyway, this year there are a bunch of movies (like way too many) that will be trying to get everyone to vote for them. Some of these movies are so good that you watch them and go, “OMG, that was so good!” Other ones are just movies that you haven’t seen them and probably won’t because they don’t have anyone famous in them.
Some actor brings his Oscar award back to give to the new winners. He does not look happy about it, though. Yikes!
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Movie Review: Django Unchained
In the American United States, whether something is cool or lame is based on things called trends. Say, for example, you start wearing a cute top with bows on the straps because your friends were wearing them and so you figured you might as well get one, too. This is an official trend because it’s cool to wear because you and your friends are cool. But, then, pretend that some girl named Jenny H. that sits in your Econ class asks you where you got that shirt, then shows up the next day wearing it–you don’t want to even wear that shirt anymore. So, now, that cute, trendy shirt just became super lame and not trendy. This is an example of how trends ebb in flow. Everything from your computer, to your phone’s apps, to what you wear and type of guy you date is a trend. Even back as far as caveman days, trends were nature’s way of balancing what is cool. Ex: Regular human cavemen = cool, ugly Crogmagnon cavemen = lame.
Even cavemen ladies knew that trends made some clothes cool and others lame and especially lame when some weird caveman girl named Jenny wore it and she had a huge butt.
Like cute shirts, movies go in trends. Right now, a trendy type of movie is historical movies about olden times. Movies like Lincoln and The Hobbit (which is a prequel) teach audiences that if history is made into a movie, it isn’t as boring as if it was in a book. Then, audiences start wanting more history movies, more specifically history movies about real people and real things that happened in real life.
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Movie Review: Prometheus
Like probably most everyone, I looked at this movie’s title and was, like, ‘Huh?’ because ‘prometheus’ is not a real word. I figured it must mean something, though, so I spent a lot of time dissecting it, while I waited for a boring commercial to be over. Then, I saw the words ‘Pro’ ‘Me’ ‘The US’. “Aha!”, I thought to myself (but not outloud because my cat, Shia LaMeowf, was sleeping). The movie was about being proud to be a US citizen. So, when I went to see the movie, I wore a US flag pin just above my left boob. BEWARE: the movie is actually a spaceship movie.
As with most spaceship movies (ex: The Phantom Menace, Apollo 13), it takes place in the future in outer space. But, unlike other spaceship movies, it is more like a horror movie and racist. So, yeah, it’s a spaceship movie that’s scary like a cereal killer movie and racist like my dad’s co-worker, Glenn.
In the movie, some scientists find hieroglyphics that say there is a planet with aliens who used to live on Earth, but moved and, anyway, here is our new address and you should come visit. Hieroglyphics are words made of pictures that old time Pyramid people used, like King Tut or The Mummy, instead of learning to read.
“Does anyone here read baby drawings and chicken scratch, by any chance?”
Movie Review: Avengers
Watching Avengers is like getting invited to a party by someone you don’t really know and you’re not totally sure you wanna go, but you feel like you should go, so you do and you see people you recognize and it becomes super fun. Unless you pay super close attention to the movie poster or the preview, you have no idea who will be popping up in Avengers because they’re people from other movies. Seriously!
Samuel El Jackson is a non-Jack Sparrow pirate whom everyone else calls Director, but they never show him directing anything (traffic? Nope. movers? Not one.) , so his name seemed weird. Mr. El Jackson probably thought that it would sound important because it is a big word, but he should have used another word like conductor or captain or assistant manager.
Movie Review: John Carter
With the president of the US elections coming this year, there is tons of interest in older presidents. Not “older” as in Hillary Clinton’s husband who was president, but older as in, “Whoa, that was a long time ago and the clothes were kinda lame.”
The only thing I knew about Abraham Lincoln was that he was tall, freed black people from working in cotton and got shot while watching a movie. I saw the robot Lincoln at Disneyland a few weeks ago and it was cool because it was like he was there, but had arthritis like my Nana’s friend, Rose, and is a little jerky when her arms bend. Now, there’s a biography movie coming out about Abraham Lincoln fighting vampires. I am so reading his autography, now! There was a movie about President W. Bush that came out a few years back and there was a TV movie about JFK (which I didn’t watch because I thought it was gonna be about the history of the airport, but it was just a president and his friends).
Movie Review: The Thing
Some horror movies make you go, “OMG, that was so scary, I had to watch it with my eyes closed. I am so gonna have bad dreams, tonight!” while other horror movies make you go, “The killer just killed that naked girl with a giant maxchete! Does the human body really have that much blood?” Now, another type of horror movie has come out that will make you go, “That was super scary! Wait, I don’t understand what happened.” That movie is The Thing.
Movie Review: Green Lantern
The color green can mean a lot of things in movies. Sometimes green is meant to be money, sometimes green is meant as clean energy like solar-powered windmills or cars that create electricity, but other times the word ‘green’ means drugs (i.e. pot, weeds, marijuana, lcd, etc.)
Some people say drugs should be legal, while other people say drugs are bad and should remain illegal like some people from Mexico. Personally, I have never smoked or drank drugs or even cooked with them, but some people who do are really brave and very open about their addiction. One such person is Seth Rogen.
D5 Creation